Some Friendships Only Know What To Do With Me When I’m Strong

Dear Delyara, I see it more clearly now. As long as I am listening, containing, clarifying, staying steady, offering perspective, showing warmth, knowing how to handle shame and sorrow without flinching, the friendship flows beautifully. But if I arrive too confused, too repetitive, too ashamed, too unfinished, too tired to organise my pain into something elegant and digestible, the energy shifts. People get awkward. Practical. Too bright. Too corrective. Or simply absent. That hurts. Because it means the friendship has learned how to receive my strength more fluently than my need. And I don’t think I realised how lonely that arrangement was until I started needing to be received differently and noticed how few rooms knew how to do it.