Sometimes I don’t know whether I need solitude or softness from someone else

Dear Delyara, That uncertainty leaves me stuck. If I knew I needed solitude, I could protect it. If I knew I needed someone, I could try to reach. But confusion is harder because it leaves me halfway between instincts. I want distance and contact at once. Privacy and witness. Silence and being asked the right question in the right voice by the right person. That makes action difficult. So I do nothing. And then the loneliness becomes murkier. This happened to me this week. And I still don’t have a clean answer for it.