Sometimes I don’t know whether I’ve outgrown the dream or just grown tired carrying it alone

Dear Delyara, If I had truly stopped wanting something, perhaps I could let it go cleanly. But what if the dream is still alive and just underfed? What if it still matters, but not enough in the current conditions to keep feeling bright? What if I am not losing vision, only losing energy? It is hard to tell the difference once ordinary life gets heavy enough. So I continue in this strange middle state where the dream is neither fully pursued nor fully buried. And that uncertainty drains its own kind of blood from the spirit.