Sometimes I think the secret has become my personality

Dear Delyara, I have held one thing back for so long that I’m no longer sure where the secret ends and I begin. That is not an exaggeration. When something has been hidden for enough years, it changes your posture around life. It affects how close you let people get. It changes how quickly you trust. It teaches you how to redirect, how to hide in plain sight, how to look composed when you feel split. I think I built whole social instincts around protecting one truth. I don’t know what it would feel like to live unedited.