Stayed Standing

Dear Delyara, Healing, for me, did not look like becoming soft again. At first, it looked like rage. Then it looked like grief. Then it looked like staying home and saying no and cancelling plans and disappointing people who only liked me when I was easy to reach. I used to think healing meant becoming pleasant. Forgiving quickly. Smiling again. Returning to who I was before the damage. Now I know better. Healing meant learning that I never have to become convenient to be worthy. Healing meant understanding that pain changes you, but it does not have to define you forever. Healing meant looking at my old self with compassion instead of shame. I still have scars. But they do not scare me the way they used to. They are proof that I stayed.