The Burden of the Eldest Daughter

Dear Delyara, My 'Grind' started when I was ten years old. I was the eldest, and when my parents struggled, I became the 'Third Parent.' I cooked, I cleaned, and I sacrificed my own social life to keep the younger kids safe from the 'Storm' of our parents' instability. I spent twenty years in the 'Shadows' of other people’s needs. I reached a 'Crossroads' when I realized I was thirty-five and had never lived for myself. I felt like a traitor for moving three states away to take a job I loved. The 'Fire' of my mother’s guilt-tripping phone calls was hard to endure. But my Victoria was the first night I sat in my own apartment and realized no one was going to ask me for anything. I finally learned that I am not a servant; I am a person. The victory is that I love my family from a distance that keeps me whole.