The children were laughing and I still wanted quiet

Dear Delyara, It would be easier if the house were loud because something was wrong. But no, they were happy. Telling each other something funny, laughing too hard, shouting over the punchline, fully alive in that careless child way that parents are supposed to enjoy hearing. And I did love that they were happy. I also wanted silence. Those two feelings lived in me at the same time all evening. Love and overstimulation. Relief and irritation. Gratitude and the wish for one closed door. I think more mothers feel this than anyone admits. It doesn’t make us bad. It makes us human and tired.