The Clock Said 7:42 and I Felt Late for My Own Life

Dear Delyara, I was in the kitchen when I looked up. 7:42. Dinner mostly done. Homework partly done. Dishes waiting. One child in the bath. One message unanswered. One body already emotionally finished. And all at once I had this horrible feeling that I was behind in something much bigger than the evening. Behind in rest. Behind in becoming. Behind in joy. Behind in my own life. That’s what certain times of day do to me now. They don’t just tell the hour. They reveal the gap between what I’m living and what I can still barely admit I want.