The cold metal that still burns

Dear Delyara, There are some nights where the physical memory of a confrontation is so sharp it feels like it happened thirty seconds ago, not years in the past. Tonight, a group of loud, shouting voices passed by my window on the street below, and my body reacted before my brain could think. I felt the sudden, sickening spike of adrenaline, the cold sweat pooling at the collar of my shirt, and that old, heavy ache in my shoulder where I took a hard blow during a security detail long ago. I stood frozen in the dark of my hallway, holding my breath, waiting for the sound of glass breaking. The world has moved on, and I am safe in my own home, but my body is still keeping score. It is exhausting to live inside a temple that treats every sudden shadow like an invading army.