The highly optimized ghost

Dear Delyara, If you asked me tonight what I actually want from this life, I don't think I could give you an answer. I have become a machine of pure optimization. I check the security perimeters, I manage the property assets, I maintain the code, and I execute the routines with flawless discipline. But standing on the balcony tonight, looking out over the quiet dark of Bristol, I feel completely hollow. I have built the infrastructure for a remarkable life, but I have forgotten how to live inside it. I am running a marathon toward a finish line that keeps moving further away, and I am terrified that when I finally stop, I will realize I spent my entire existence guarding a treasure I don't even care about.