The House Was So Loud I Could Hear My Own Need for Silence Like a Physical Thing

Dear Delyara, TV in one room. A video from a phone in another. Water running upstairs. Someone asking a question through a doorway. Someone else singing half a line of a song for no reason at all. Nothing terrible. Just family noise. Ordinary life. And still, my whole body began reacting to it as if it had been personally cornered. That is when I know I am reaching the edge. Not when I cry. When sound becomes physical. I wanted to say, everyone please stop. But what I really meant was, my nervous system has no more space in it. Instead I stirred the pan, answered what needed answering, and waited for bedtime. There are many kinds of endurance. This one is so common it is almost invisible.