The Loneliness of a Crowded Server

Dear Delyara, It’s 1:50 AM, and I am watching a cursor blink in a chat room filled with thousands of active profiles from all over the globe. Icons are lighting up, messages are flying across the screen at lightning speed, memes are being shared, and yet, I have never felt more utterly disconnected from the human race. We are all sitting in our dark rooms, staring at glowing rectangles, throwing words into a digital void hoping someone will validate our existence with a click. I typed out a long, honest message about how much I’m struggling tonight, held my finger over the enter key for a full minute, and then deleted the whole thing. The reality is, nobody on that server wants the real version of me; they want the entertainment. I shut the laptop down, and the sudden darkness in my room felt incredibly vast. I’m writing this on a scrap of paper just to feel something real under my fingers.