The old wound still chooses too much for me

Dear Delyara, I’m beginning to realize that some of my present-day decisions are not really present-day decisions at all. They are old wounds acting quickly. Before my wiser self has fully arrived. That’s what it feels like when I apologize too fast, trust too little, fear too much, over-explain, over-accommodate, or expect distance before love has had a chance to prove otherwise. I don’t always feel haunted. But I do feel shaped. And there is a difference.