The scan was clear and I cried in the hospital toilet

Dear Delyara, I had been holding my breath for weeks. Anyone who has waited for a scan result after serious illness will understand what I mean when I say that life keeps moving on the outside while part of you is standing still in a cold hospital corridor the whole time. I still went to work. I still packed lunches. I still answered texts. I still smiled when required. But inwardly I had not moved past the possibility of bad news. Then the consultant said, “Everything looks clear.” I nodded like a sensible adult woman. I thanked him. I walked out of the room. Then I locked myself in a toilet cubicle and cried with relief so hard it made my hands shake. It was not graceful. It was not inspirational. It was animal. I think victory is sometimes that simple. A body staying. A result coming back clean. A future not closing when you had already begun bracing for it. I will never use the phrase “good health” casually again.