The School App Notification Changed My Mood Before I Even Opened It

Dear Delyara, The phone lit up. I saw the school name, and before I had read a single word, my body had already reacted. Tight chest. Slight dread. The instant internal search for what I’d forgotten, what had changed, what money was needed, what form was due, what thing my child had done or not done or lost or been selected for or left out of. When I finally opened it, it was something ordinary. A reminder. A schedule. Nothing catastrophic. Still, the damage had already happened in miniature. I think this is one of the hidden costs of motherhood in the digital age. You are never fully off duty. The school can enter your hand, your pocket, your evening, your dinner, your nervous system, at any hour. And because important things do sometimes arrive that way, the body learns to fear the ordinary ping as if it may be carrying a whole new problem in polite language. I put the phone down and felt silly for how strongly I had reacted. Then I stopped calling it silly. It wasn’t silly. It was learned tension.