The test may tell me whether I will become my mother

Dear Delyara, My mother developed Huntington’s disease in her forties. I am thirty-seven. I have a fifty percent chance of carrying the gene. For years, I chose not to know. My husband supported that until we started discussing children. Now the question has become another person’s possible inheritance. I completed genetic counselling and gave blood last week. The result is ready. I have an appointment tomorrow. Tonight, I keep watching my hands for movements. Every dropped spoon, every twitch, every forgotten word becomes evidence even though the counselor warned me this would happen. If the result is negative, a door opens that my mother never had. If it is positive, I will know something about my future she learned only after symptoms began. My husband says whatever the result, we will face it together. I believe him. I also know that tomorrow one piece of paper may change the way he looks at every movement I make for the rest of our marriage. I keep thinking about cancelling the appointment. The result already exists whether I hear it or not.