The voicemail sat there all day

Dear Delyara, I saw the notification in the morning. I did not play it. I told myself I’d listen later, when I had more focus, more patience, more emotional space. But the truth is I avoided it because I didn’t want one more voice entering me before I was ready. Even kind voices can feel like pressure when the inside is already crowded. So the voicemail stayed there. By afternoon, it had grown larger than it deserved to be. That’s what avoidance does so well — it turns a small unopened thing into atmosphere. By evening, it wasn’t a voicemail anymore. It was proof that I was behind, avoiding, failing at some small standard of adulthood I never consciously agreed to. When I finally played it, it was harmless. Of course it was. I wish I trusted that more often.