The wedding invitation arrived after my deportation order

Dear Delyara, My sister is getting married in June, and today her invitation arrived with my name written in gold. She lives in Birmingham, two hours away. I live in Manchester, but the Home Office says I may have to leave the country before the wedding. My appeal was refused last week. The solicitor says there may be another application, though she used the word “may” so often that it stopped sounding like hope. My sister does not know. She is choosing flowers, complaining about table plans, and sending me photographs of dresses she wants me to try. I keep answering as though June belongs to me. Tonight, I placed the invitation beside the brown envelope containing the decision. One says, “Together with our families.” The other says I have no lawful basis to remain with mine. I have lived here since I was thirteen. I learned to drive here, buried my mother here, and know which supermarket reduces bread after eight. The country on my passport feels like a relative I met once as a child. I keep imagining my sister walking down the aisle and looking toward the seat where I should be. I have not told her because I cannot bear to put immigration officers into her wedding photographs before the day even arrives.