The Weekend I Told My Friends I Was "Ill" Just so I Could Sit in the Dark

Dear Delyara, I lied to everyone this weekend. I told my friends I had a terrible flu so I could cancel our dinner plans, and I ignored my brother’s calls. The truth is, I wasn't physically sick at all; I was just completely, utterly depleted by the effort of pretending to be okay. I spent forty-eight hours sitting on my sofa with the curtains drawn, watching the light change on the wall, never once turning on the television or opening a book. I needed to exist in a vacuum where no one was looking at my face, demanding a response, or expecting me to be interesting. It feels incredibly selfish, this deep urge to withdraw from the people who care about me, but some weeks the world is simply too loud to handle without completely coming apart at the seams.