Chicago, USA

The woman I treated after a crash remembered the song I hummed

Dear Delyara, I am a paramedic. Two years ago, I treated a woman after a serious crash. She was trapped, terrified and asking repeatedly whether she was going to die. I do not remember much beyond the clinical details. Tonight, she walked into our station with a box of cookies. She had spent months trying to find the crew. She said I hummed a song while firefighters worked to free her. I had no idea. Apparently, I hum when concentrating. The song was an old one my mother used to sing. The woman said she focused on it because hearing someone hum made her believe the people around her were calm enough that she might survive. I wanted to tell her I was not calm. I had been scared too. We are trained to keep hands steady while fear lives somewhere less visible. She hugged me before leaving. Afterward, I went into the ambulance and cried for a few minutes. There are calls I remember because they went badly. Tonight, someone returned from one that went well and handed me a version of myself I had never known was present: a frightened paramedic humming his mother’s song while trying not to let a stranger hear fear in his voice.