There are days when I feel like a necessary function, not a deeply felt person

Dear Delyara, I get things done. I keep things moving. I answer, fix, remember, cook, carry, notice, soften, explain, follow up, and calm down. My usefulness is rarely in question. But usefulness is not intimacy. Some days I feel more like infrastructure than a person. Important, yes. Necessary, yes. Emotionally held, not especially. And because usefulness gets praised so easily, loneliness can hide inside it for years. I think that is where mine has hidden more than once.