There are mornings when my body wakes up already unconvinced by the day

Dear Delyara, Before anything has happened. That’s the part that is hardest to explain to people who don’t live with anxiety. It isn’t always caused by a clear event. Sometimes the body just wakes with a kind of low distrust. Of the calendar, of the phone, of the ordinary pressures that may arrive, of my own ability to meet them cleanly. It’s as if the nervous system already had the first meeting of the day while I was still asleep. Then the actual day begins, and I am already behind in emotional energy before breakfast. That is one of the loneliest parts of it. The head start fear gets.