There are still tones that make my body go careful before my mind understands why

Dear Delyara, That’s how I know some things still live lower down than reason. Someone gets clipped, impatient, too sharp, too final, and before I have consciously interpreted anything, my body has already reorganised itself. I’m explaining more, speaking more softly, smiling too quickly, preparing for blame that hasn’t even formally entered the room yet. It’s frightening in a quiet way, because it means old fear still has access to me through sound alone. I don’t always talk about this because it feels difficult to justify from the outside. Inside, it is obvious.