Work made me careful

Dear Delyara, Too careful. Careful how I speak. Careful how much I ask. Careful how direct I sound. Careful not to be read as emotional, difficult, too much, too visible, too certain, too serious. That carefulness entered my tone so gradually I almost mistook it for maturity. It wasn’t. It was adaptation. A body learning how to survive rooms that did not feel safe enough for its full size. Now I hear that carefulness in me even where it no longer belongs. And I resent how much of me work got to shape in that direction.